There are a lot of things that I enjoy, so you get to watch them cycle through my tumblr. Have fun with that. I can't guarantee that I will always be work-safe, but the NSFW things will most likely involve cussing. A lot of it. Fucker stick.

 

tomthefanboy:

gobbelygunk:

tomthefanboy:

revedas:

babynatxo:

dandelionpunx:

Whoever wants to eat cookie dough and not get salmonella. Here ya go!

omg

Every woman? EVERY PERSON ON EARTH, MARS, OR WHEREVER THE HELL YOU ARE SHOULD HAVE THIS RECIPE.

Well I know what I’ll be making for lunch tomorrow!

To be fair, your chance of catching salmonella from a raw egg is less than the chance of getting an STI off a toilet seat.

Who cares about salmonella? I hate eggs! We only buy them to make brownies and half the carton ends up going bad! This is about egg avoidance not disease prevention!

tomthefanboy:

gobbelygunk:

tomthefanboy:

revedas:

babynatxo:

dandelionpunx:

Whoever wants to eat cookie dough and not get salmonella. Here ya go!

omg

Every woman? EVERY PERSON ON EARTH, MARS, OR WHEREVER THE HELL YOU ARE SHOULD HAVE THIS RECIPE.

Well I know what I’ll be making for lunch tomorrow!

To be fair, your chance of catching salmonella from a raw egg is less than the chance of getting an STI off a toilet seat.

Who cares about salmonella? I hate eggs! We only buy them to make brownies and half the carton ends up going bad! This is about egg avoidance not disease prevention!

There is a pigeon

Aggressively cooing like a 3-pack a day smoker outside my hotel window, and all I can see in my head is a fluff butt pigeon drawn by coelasquid glaring at me. Maybe with a cig.

nialllhoran:

WHY ARE PHONES GETTING BIGGER WHEN GIRLS STILL BARELY HAVE POCKETS IN THEIR PANTS

godtie:

DO YOU HAVE SHORT HAIR??

IS YOUR SHORT HAIR STRAIGHT AND DOESNT HAVE VOLUME?

DO YOU WANT VOLUPTUOUS WAVY HAIR LIKE ALL THOSE OTHER CUTE KIDS WITH SHORT HAIR?

DO YOU WANT HAIR LIKE THOSE CUTE ASS PICTURES OF ME ABOVE THIS?

THEN BOY DO I HAVE THE PRODUCT FOR YOU

image

THIS SHIT IS THE GODDAMN BEES KNEES

FOR LONG HAIR IT MAKES THAT SHIT ALL WAVY BUT DAMN CAN THIS BE USED FOR SHORT HAIR. IT GIVES IT TEXTURE. IT GIVES IT VOLUME. IT MAKES IT GODDAMN WAVY AND BEAUTIFUL.

BEST WAY TO DO IT? TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE BED, SPRAY THIS SHIT ALL UP IN YOUR HAIR, BLOWDRY THAT SHIT TILL ITS ALL DRY WITH YOUR HEAD UPSIDEDOWN, THEN SLEEP ON THAT MOTHER FUCKER LIKE NO ONES BUSINESS. THE MORE BED HEAD THE BETTER.

WAKE UP AND TAME THAT SHIT WITH YOUR FINGERS. YOURE GOOD TO GO FOR THE DAY FRIEND AND YOUR HAIR WILL LOOK FLAWLESS AND WAVY ALL GODDAMN DAY CONGRATS

BEST PART? THIS SHIT IS LIKE $5.

(THIS COMPANY ALSO MAKES A DAMN GOOD DRY SHAMPOO FOR THE DAYS WHERE YOU JUST DONT WANNA SHOWER BUT YOUR HAIR LOOKS GREASY AS FUCK. THIS COMPANY IS THE SHIT SO FAR AND I WANNA TRY MORE OF THEIR PRODUCTS AND PLAN TO.)

Anyone relate?

When you really want to see a movie, but it’s also got an object of obsession in it, so you’re scared to see it? What if you love it and can’t get him out of your head? Or what if it’s actually bad, and you have to lie to yourself to make it ok? I’ve been dodging Hiddleston like a damn ninja!

coelasquid:

My brother is an adult with refined tastes and decor sense.

coelasquid:

My brother is an adult with refined tastes and decor sense.

homeofwords:

someone mentioned this - so here’s a Sif to go with the pirate!hiddles…

myurlhasbeencompromisedagain:

lolshtus:

Finally, I Get To Know What They Mean


i just saved this for reference with the file name “how to laundry”

myurlhasbeencompromisedagain:

lolshtus:

Finally, I Get To Know What They Mean

i just saved this for reference with the file name “how to laundry”